welcome back to another flagship episode of stacking slabs here on the stacking slabs network we are in the thick of summer man it is brutal here in indianapolis i'm not much for the heat and it has been sweltering hopefully you are in a cool place with some ac hopefully if you're out at shows they got the ac cranked up show season is here people are busy making deals comfort is key i'm excited about upcoming shows getting out in the mix had a blast a couple weeks ago at columbus card fest excited for fanatics fest excited for the national hopefully you are going to be out in the mix and if you're going to be there or traveling there stacking slabs can serve as a soundtrack got a ton of feedback on last week's episode and i think it is really important to think about ownership and ownership as a skill so often we move we chase but sometimes we just gotta sit and reflect and enjoy the cards we have and in this environment where it's becoming increasingly easy to move in and out of cards sometimes ownership is the hardest part so there was a ton of great feedback there appreciate all of you showing up showing out and if you're enjoying what's happening here hit the follow button tell a damn friend run on over to the patreon group we have video content for most of these episodes over there and a lot more content that does not hit this feed so if you're a stacking slabs fan the patreon is the place to be today we are going to be talking about when the grail changes the plan an extension off of last week's episode trying to keep this drumbeat going sharing helpful perspective or hopefully helpful perspective from one collector to another also gotta shout this out last week i was uploading episodes and realized that we had blown past one thousand episodes which is insane so this started as a passion project it has turned into a full time career for me and that is a milestone so if you have been here for any of that one thousand plus episodes i just wanna extend some gratitude your way also wanna extend gratitude to the flagship sponsor inferno red technology they are the engineering team behind some of the biggest names in sports and collectibles like dc sports eighty seven commsi collectors upper deck and ebay from ai powered solutions for startups to full stack platforms for industry leaders their team can tackle your toughest technology challenge they build awesome software for the hobby for leagues and fans and for everyone in between see what they can build for you at inferno red dot com i have talked a lot about some of my favorite cards in my collection and how they have come my way and one of the observations that i have is that there are a lot of moments in collecting where the card does not come from a search it doesn't come from an auction alert or a safe search in ebay it does not come from scrolling through listings at a late on a late night it comes from a person one collector reaches out to another collector and says i thought of you i know what you collect i know what matters to you and i have something that belongs in that conversation that happened to me this past week and i'm not gonna say what the card is i'm not going to say the player i'm not gonna talk about the product or the price that is not the point of this episode so the point is the situation because i think a lot of collectors are going to face some version of this or are actively facing a version of this and it might not be the exact dollar amount it might not be the exact card it might not be the same type of deal but at some point the card you have been thinking about dreaming about studying or circling around is going to get put in front of you and when it does the whole thing changes it stops just being theory it stops being a safe search it stops being a card you talk about wanting someday and it becomes a decision and that decision has a ton of weight because a true grail is not only expensive a true grail asks something from you as a collector it asks for capital it asks for conviction it asks for trade offs it asks you to think about what your collection is becoming it asks you to decide whether the card fits inside the collection you already have or whether the card changes the direction of the entire thing and so that is what i wanna get into today how should collect collectors decide when a grail has reshaped the direction of their collection and i want to be clear on something from the jump this episode is not about chasing the biggest card you can afford it's not about saying yes to every rare card that pops up that of course is reckless this episode is about slowing down when your emotions want you to speed up it's about building a process for big collecting decisions it is about being honest with yourself before you do something that affects your collection your finances and your own peace of mind i mentioned last week i talked about living with your grail this episode was about what happens after the chase if you haven't already i'd highly recommend you go dig into that one and i say that based on my feeling about that episode and also the feedback that i've received on the back end what happens after the card comes home what happens when the thing you wanted becomes a part of your life this week is a step before that this is the room before the room this is the decision before the decision this is part this is the part where a card enters your orbit and you have to ask is this the card i have been waiting for or is this card taking advantage of the fact that i have been waiting because those things aren't the same same thing the card that finds you the card is important to understand and think about the card the way the card presented matters i bought cards in a lot of ways and i'm sure you have too marketplaces auction shows dms relationships each format creates different type of pressure you have an auction with a clock a marketplace with comparison you've got a show with speed and being in person is its own beast the dm creates intimacy private offers from one collector to another creates something different it creates trust and i think that is really powerful trust has been the most important ingredient for me as a collector and for the building of stacking slabs but trust can also make the decision harder because when a seller comes to you based on what they know about your collecting interest it feels different it means they've paid attention and they understand your lane it means they see a connection between the card and your collection and that's certainly meaningful as collectors we all want to be understood we want people to know what we care about we want our collection to say something we want our taste to be legible so when the card comes to you in that way it hits a different part of your brain it's not only do i want the card but it becomes do other collectors see me as the right home for the card it's flattering but it's also dangerous because flattery can blur your judgment a private offer can feel like an invitation but access is not an obligation and i think that's very important and i want to say it again access is not an obligation a collector can honor you by bringing you a card that does not mean you owe them a yes a seller can trust you with a conversation that does not mean you should skip your process a card can fit your interest that doesn't mean it fits your life this is where collectors get into trouble we confuse the privilege of being offered the card with the responsibility to buy it we confuse being chosen as the buyer with needing to become the buyer those things are different the best collectors i know have discipline at the point of access they know what to do when the card shows up they do not lose themselves because something rare appeared they do not let scarcity make the decision for them they respect the opportunity evaluate it that is the standard respect the opportunity evaluate the decision a grail decision is not a normal buying decision when you buy a card that fits in your collection at a smaller level you are working within your system you know the lane your budget the role the card's going to play you just buy it and you move on a grail doesn't work that way it has a ton of gravity it pulls other decisions towards it it changes what feels important it changes how you look at the rest of your collection it can make cards you once loved feel less central it can also make a whole structure of your collection feel different that is why these decisions need more respect you are not only deciding whether the card is good the card is likely good that is why you are in this situation you are deciding whether the card is right and that is a big difference a card can be rare but it can be wrong a card can be important and it can be wrong it can be priced fairly again wrong a card can be something you have wanted and still be wrong for where you are at right now and that last one's really hard because collectors evolve your chase changes your conviction changes your priorities change the version of who the version of you who put the card on the grail list might not be the same version of you who is being asked to buy it that is why the question cannot be did i once want this the question has to be does this fit the collection i'm building now and even deeper than that does this help me become more clear because that is what the best grails do they do not create confusion they create clarity they make the collection feel more like itself they sharpen the point they do not pull you in ten new directions they give more meaning to what you already care about when a grail is right it does not feel like a random trophy it feels like a missing sentence in the story it gives language to the collection it explains other choices it creates a center that is when a grail can reshape the direction of a collection in a healthy way not just because it's big and costs a lot of money because it makes the collection more true when these cards show up the first instinct is speed and it's always speed because your brain tells you what if somebody else gets it what if i never see it again and that's normal scarcity does that to us when something feels hard to replace we we feel pressure to act and in collecting that pressure gets intense because some cards are not liquid in the normal sense they're not available they might not have public sales data there might be one copy that has the look you want so the scarcity might be real but the real scarcity does not mean you should abandon your own judgment that is the trap collectors think because this card is rare i have to move fast no because the card is rare you need to think better rare cards punish bad process when you make a mistake on a common card you can unwind it you can sell it replace it you can learn from it and move on when you make a mistake on a major card that mistake has weight it can tie up money can force you to sell cards you don't wanna sell create stress it can make the hobby feel like a like pressure instead of joy it can turn a dream card into a reminder that you did not trust your own process and that sucks who wants to spend all of this money on a card and every time you look at it be pissed off i know i don't so the first step i think is simple you have to create time not endless time not disrespectful time but real time if a seller brings you a major card and the relationship is built on trust then the conversation should include a timeline you need to know how long do i have to think about this are you expecting a decision today are you talking to anyone else what would make this work for you those questions aren't rude they're responsible a major private deal needs alignment the buyer needs to know the seller's expectations the seller needs to know the buyer's process you do not want to operate from assumption because assumption creates tension and tension creates bad communication bad communication can damage the deal and the relationship if you need time say that be transparent if you can't be transparent on a major grail deal then it's probably not the right deal if the seller needs a fast decision they should say that if there is a window define it if there is no window define that too the worst version is silence the buyer is thinking the seller is wondering both sides are filling in the blanks that is how trust gets tested for the wrong reason so before you analyze the card align on timeline that's the first step you should feel something when the grail shows up i do not trust a grail decision that has no emotion in it that's collecting the feeling the chase the memory the player the set the story all of that matters if you are spending meaningful money on cardboard and there is no feeling attached to it then you need to ask what game are you playing but feeling is not the same as conviction feeling is immediate conviction survives friction feeling says want it conviction says i know why this belongs here feeling reacts to the image conviction holds up after research feeling is strongest when access is threatened and conviction remains after you sleep on it that is the work i'm a big fan of just at least twenty four hours whenever you're making a decision on a card give it twenty four hours make sure you go to bed and make sure you feel the same feeling the next day you don't wanna kill the emotion but you wanna test it i think the question is isn't am i excited but the question is what remains after the excitement settles this is where i like to separate desire from thesis desire is the pull thesis is the reason desire says the card moves me thesis says this card matters because of its place in a player's history product era print run set structure collector base condition category and my own collection that's a different level of thinking but you need both desire without thesis becomes impulse thesis without desire just becomes inventory the best grail decisions have a mix of both you want the card and you can explain the card not to impress anyone not to defend yourself online to make sure you understand what you're doing here's the question i keep coming back to does this card add to my collection or does this card redirect my collection both can be fine but you need to know which one is happening an additive card fits the existing structure fills a gap strengthens a run it adds a missing piece to the set it gives more weight to a category you already collect a redirecting card completely changes the structure it becomes the centerpiece it shifts your budget it changes what you pursue next it makes it might make other parts of your collection feel less important it might force consolidation it might pull you towards a new tier it might make you rethink your own collector identity this is where the word grail gets thrown around too much every big card is not a grail every card you want badly is not a grail every card that is hard to buy is not a grail a grail is not only a card at the top of a wish list a grail changes the way you see your own collection that is why you need to ask if i buy this card what changes do i become more focused or less focused do i become more disciplined or do i start chasing adjacent cards because they open a nuke door a grail should not make the collection messy it should bring the collection into a sharper focus that does not mean everything becomes easy it means the direction becomes more honest i think one of the hardest parts of a grail decision is identity collectors do not only buy cards we build proof we proof of test proof of memory proof of study proof of conviction this is the part of collecting that's so powerful because cards carry identity but that is also why big decisions can get emotional fast when a grail appears it feels like your identity is being tested are you the collector you say you are are you serious about your lane are you going to let something go to get it i think that last line of thinking is really dangerous because now the card is no longer being evaluated as a card it's being evaluated as a verdict on you that's too much weight you're not less of a collector if you pass you are not more of a collector if you say yes the card does not get to define your seriousness but i think a lot of us think that way your process defines your seriousness your discipline defines your seriousness your ability to say no defines your seriousness anyone can say yes when they're excited but the strongest collectors can say no when the card is right but timing is wrong not every meaningful card is meant to be yours and the sooner i think you accept that the better your collection gets because the more you stop trying to possess every card that validates your taste you start building a collection that reflects your own standard i think this is really important and apparent to look at through the lens of the private market and it's really hard to look at from the lens of the private market because the private market is private we can only share through our own experiences and i am trying to activate those stories in the private market how to operate in those things in episodes like this the private offers create a dense layer gratitude when someone brings you a card first you feel grateful and i think you should i know i do that is part of the relationship but gratitude can distort decisions you can start to feel like passing on the card disrespects the seller it doesn't a clean no is not disrespect a slow ghost is disrespect a low effort response is disrespect a number with no thought behind it is disrespect but a thoughtful no is part of doing business with collectors simple words words matter communication matters you can say i appreciate you bringing this to me i took it seriously i did the work i do i did not think i could get there i think that's fair you can say you love the card you can say i understand why you thought of me the timing doesn't work the relationship should be able to hold up even if it's a no if it can it was not as strong as you thought as a buyer you need to be able to make sure gratitude does not become pressure not because do not buy the card because you feel honored buy it because it belongs once you have the time and you have separated feeling from conviction the next big step is research i think this is where collectors need to slow down a grail card needs a research file not because you need to turn collecting into a framework because big decisions deserve evidence you want to understand the card from every angle i break research down into five layers the card the player the product the category and my collection so let's start with the card the card itself not the idea the actual card what is it all the questions that encompass it with big cards the details matter a collector can fall in love with the front image and ignore everything else don't do that study the whole object look at the condition label scan history photo video all of the things if the card is raw understand the risk if it's graded understand whether the grade matches the eye appeal do all the things a lot of collectors buy the headline they buy the player plus the set plus the grade plus the rarity they then they get in the card in the hand and realize the copy doesn't move them for a grail that is not good enough the player this is not about box score scouting this is about collecting significance where does this player sit in the history of category where does it sit in terms of your the player's meaning to you different players have different collector engines a retired legend has a different structure than an active star a championship icon has a different structure than some cult favorite you could do this over and over and over again you need to know what creates the demand you need to understand whether your interest is tied to the player the card or the moment that distinction matters sometimes collectors think they want a player what they really want is one card sometimes they think they want a card what they really want is to participate in the category that has momentum sometimes they think they want a rare piece what they really want is to prove they've had conviction it's all about being honest there's nothing wrong with being drawn to a player because the story nostalgia or identity that is the hobby but if this is a major card you need to know the source of your own conviction gotta study the product gotta dig in gotta analyze you gotta understand get in the weeds understand what the product means to you and the history to the rest of the market the more you can dig in and understand the product itself and where it sits within the pantheon of cards the better off you'll be you gotta dig into the category understand where the category is who are the people involved in it what are the benchmark sales what's the hierarchy what sits inside of it having that knowledge is baseline you gotta understand it though the more i dig into the category understanding what makes it up how the people operate the better decisions i make and then the most important is your collection where does this card fit within your side inside your collection does this card disrupt your entire collection and that's okay if it does the situation that i'm going through without details right now fits within my collection quite well but if i do this it's going to disrupt some of the other collection building that i'm going on so my decision is more not about the card the card is wonderful i value the card and i really appreciate it and think it stands in a premium position in its category however am i willing to sacrifice the collection that i've built to this point to get access to the card that is the real question and so i can't really i can't really have anyone give me advice that's going to push me one way or the other because they don't have my collection and i think that is a really really important element of all this especially that i'm considering as i dig into my own situation every big card has a shadow the shadow is everything else you cannot buy because you have bought this one that's opportunity cost collectors talk price they do not talk enough about what the price prevents the number is not the only factor the percentage of your collection budget matters the liquid capital matters emotional cost context timing all of those things really matter if a card causes resentment it will not feel like a grail for long if a card gives you pressure you should not dig into that you should recognize it but there's a difference between stench and stretch and strain stretch is a meaningful move you understand trade offs a strain is you're forcing this and you see a future and having to bail yourself out it's part of the decision making process and evaluating it it's really important to understand some cards are worth consolidation some cards deserve the oxygen some cards are the center but you don't need to force the buy do not buy first and rationalize later i think i'd be remiss to not talk a little bit about trust before this because in a private deal the seller is part of the decision this is not clicking a button this is a human transaction and in big deals trust changes everything a trusted sellers can provide context they can tell you where the card has been they can explain everything they can answer your questions and that is valuable but trust does not replace your own due diligence it supports it or it should support it you still need to verify research understand the card the healthiest private deals have transparency on both sides the seller should be able to say here is how i'm thinking about the number how i'm coming to comms here's what i think makes this copy stand out the buyer should be able to say here's how i'm thinking about the card here's the data here's what makes me feel comfortable here's where i'm struggling the kind of conversation builds respect it does not guarantee a deal but it protects the relationship i wanna spend a little time on negotiation because collectors get really weird here a big private deal should not be a game of who can hide the most you need you don't need a posture you don't need to insult the card that might work in a marketplace setting in a relationship based deal it damages trust transparent negotiation is stronger that does not mean you have to give away all of your leverage it means you you should communicate like an adult the card matters to you say it if the number is hard for you say it if you need to move cards say it if your offer is based on data show the data if you are making a stretch offer explain the stretch it is important to be as transparent as possible when you are making this happen the more i've been transparent on the private side the better the the deal has gone for me and i think in a private deal the sticking point is not always price i see it in four parts price terms timing and trust price the number terms are how the deal gets done timing is when it gets done trust is the confidence that both sides will do what they say and a lot of negotiations fail because people think that arguing about price when they're arguing about timing the buyer might be able to get there but not today the seller might accept the number but not with uncertainty the buyer might need to move cards the seller might need to need cash the buyer might be comfortable if the transaction is in person the seller might need references and it's important to understand all of these factors that make these deals take place and i think that's part of the reason why i wanna have this conversation once you want the card your brain starts working for the card it starts building the case does that ever happen to you where you got a private deal happening and you're in your own evaluation period and your brain just takes over that's pretty normal but it's important to to call that out smart collectors can rationalize anything that does not mean you should take action on that it's a signal that you should be challenging yourselves we protect our own selves from pressure but then we walk straight into pressure there's a lot of other factors that go into this there's regret and we have this push and pull and we're constantly trying to decide is this something we do when do we do it do we just say no and it's completely normal when it's your transformation transformational decision i wanna talk about what it means for a grail to reshape your collection in a good way i do not think it means the collection becomes more expensive i do not think it means the cardboard becomes more valuable than what you own that's just one data point i think a grail reshapes the collection when it changes your own standards after the card enters your buying filter changes it becomes clear you become less tempted by the filter i think a keyword is intentional it's really important to be intentional when we are buying these big cards i gotta be honest this episode has been almost therapeutic in a way for me when i get into these i just start formatting putting these buckets aside and figured you know what if i get up here in front of a microphone maybe it'll make my decision easier and i think maybe it has and i'm going through it and of course because i when deals get done and either if i make the deal it'll become an episode if i don't make the deal it'll become an episode but i'm in that phase right now and this is certainly helpful for me but i think one of the strange things about collecting is that people just see the result they see the mail day they see the card they don't see the process they don't see all the mush that we're talking about today that's why i wanted to record this before my decision was final because i think the process matters more than the outcome if i buy the card the process still matters if i pass the process matters the lesson is not here is the grail i landed the lesson is here is how i'm trying to make a decision i can live with and i think that's more youth youth are more helpful i think we treat the word grail with more respect and not every card you want is a grail a grail is a card with personal and structural significance you need both it only matters personally it might be just a card that is a heart card i think that's great if it matters structurally it might be an important card that's great too but a grail sits at the intersection it matters to you it changes the collection that is why the decision has weight there's a lot of heavy topics in this episode and i understand that trust me i'm going through something i think as we round this out i for me the best collecting decisions don't always feel easy i think that tension is good and i think it helps you grow as a collector sometimes the right card asks you to let go of other good cards and that is a part of building a collection with meaning but pressure is not proof urgency isn't proof access isn't proof the proof is in the fit in the clarity in the process getting aligned with the seller respecting the relationship studying and researching the card knowing what changes when you make the decisions and then i think making the decision like a collector who has to live with it because that is the part no one can do for you you are the only one who has to live with the grail you're the only one who has to live with the past you are the one who has to look at the collection afterwards and say this still feels like me that is the goal not the biggest collection not the loudest not the collection that gets the most attention the collection that feels true the collection that has a direction the collection that reflects your own conviction not someone else's and when the card shows up that has the power to reshape it and don't hand that decision over to fear do hand that don't hand it over to hype don't hand it over to a a clock be an independent thinker do the work then decide that is the collector i'm trying to become and i think the collector the hobby needs more of i'm brett i run stacking slabs i put out episodes like this every day i love sports cards i love the psychology behind collecting and i think the more we have conversations about all of these things that make up the collection building process the better off we'll be thank you for following along appreciate your support for the stacking slabs network happy building happy collecting take care talk to you soon